Red Flags & Green Flags in Friendship: Spotting Them for Healthy Relationships

Hey besties, have any of your friends been giving you "drama queen" vibes lately? I bet we’ve all had at least one friendship where we just leave feeling like our energy is totally drained, right? Like, who said we only gotta look for red flags in relationships? Friendships need that attention too, fam. Quality friends are the ones that help you slay life, while toxic ones just leave you feeling exhausted.

Today, let’s break down the red flags in friendships so you can spot them early and the green flags to know who’s worth keeping around. The goal? Build those healthy relationships where no one has to feel “down in the dumps” anymore!

Red Flags in Friendship: Signs You Should Watch Out For

I once had a friend who would always spill my tea to others and would totally roast me in front of people. At first, I thought she was just joking, but after a while, it was draining and I didn’t wanna share anything with her anymore. That was a massive red flag I was too "naive" to see.

So, what are the signs you might be in a toxic friendship? Here’s the tea:

• Always the center of attention: Everything has to revolve around them, never checking in or caring about how you feel.
• Peak gaslighting: They make you doubt yourself, acting like it's your fault or that you're "overreacting." "You’re too sensitive," "I was just joking," "You’re thinking too much"... Sound familiar?
• Love talking behind others' backs and yours too: If they’re gossiping about others with you, chances are they’re doing the same about you.
• Only show up when they need something: You won't see them around when you're having fun, but they want you there when they have a crisis. And when you’re struggling? They ghost you like they never existed.
• Jealous of your success: Instead of celebrating, they find ways to downplay your achievements. Something like, "What success?" or "It's whatever."
• Always comparing and competing: They turn everything into a competition, from school to work to looks. It's like they always want to "flex" harder than you.
• Draining your energy: After hanging out, you feel more tired, drained, or even negative. It’s like they "sucked your battery dry."

If you’re feeling this vibe from a friend, take a step back and think it over. Your mental health is way more important.

Green Flags in Friendship: The People You Should Keep Close!

Now let’s talk about the more positive side! Who doesn’t want those "top-tier" friends who are always there to make you feel like a boss babe every day? I remember once I was rushing to meet a deadline, and my bestie showed up with food and sat down to work with me to help ease the stress. I was just so touched, I could have cried!

Here are the green flags in friendship you should definitely hold onto:

• Truly listening: They don’t just hear you out, they actually understand and share your feelings. They give you the space to talk without judgment.
• Genuinely cheering you on: When you achieve something, they are truly happy for you, no jealousy in sight, and they’re your number one cheerleader.
• Honest but tactful: They’ll tell you the truth even when you don’t wanna hear it, but they do it in such a skilled way that it doesn’t hurt. You know, like "the truth hurts" but it’s still a "slay" because of the genuine advice.
• Respecting your space and boundaries: They get that everyone needs their own space and never try to control or intrude too much into your personal life.
• Supporting you through tough times: When you’re down, they offer not just advice but also tangible help, or sometimes just being there is enough.
• Bringing positive vibes and comfort: When you’re with them, you can be yourself, feeling happy, light, and full of energy after hanging out. Their vibe is always super chill.
• Mutual effort: Both sides put in the time, energy, and care equally. No one feels like they're being "flexed" too hard or exploited.

Friends like these are total "gems," helping you foster healthy relationships and making life so much more meaningful.

Self-Check Your Relationships to Slay Harder!

After going over all these red flags and bright green flags, now it’s your turn to do a little self-check on your friendships. Don’t be afraid to face the truth because knowing yourself is key to winning at life. Ask yourself:

• Do you feel exhausted or negative after hanging out with a certain friend?
• Do you feel like you have to "wear a mask" or can’t be your true self around them?
• On the flip side, are there friends who always uplift you and bring positive vibes?

Spotting those red flags in friendships early helps you know when to distance yourself or "cut your losses" to protect your vibe. And when you see those green flags, cherish and invest in those relationships.

What do you think about these signs? Are there any I missed? Let me know!